may 19 2024

On the island, there is a dead hummingbird in one of Jane’s plants. I spotted it on the first day, barely decomposed in the soil beside some tulips and orange flowers.

“Is it sleeping?”

“No, baby, that’s definitely dead.”

I want to take a picture but I don’t. The air is so much cleaner out here.

A week goes by, we come back to the city and the pigeons have taken up residence on the balcony. I’m working on my album. Again. Seriously this time. As always.

I have a big meeting with [redacted]. I go to the Colin Stetson show with my boyfriend. I go to acting class. I go dancing with Selena and Maria. I make dinner. I have a super secret talk with Stella. I take a bath. I text my sister. I listen to SOPHIE. I enter a hypnotic state and finish my script in seven days. I read my blue book.

The sound of my voice is different to my ear. Lighter but richer, coming from some place in my body I can’t name yet. I haven’t heard this voice before. Not even in a dream.