october 7 2024

The cruelty of the world has often astounded me and I have always been too sensitive for it.

Sometimes I feel like I was born with the whispered suggestion of a heart - the meat, the bones, the blood, it’s all there but I am too naive, too sincere, too delicate and stupid. I cry all the time. I feel everything.

I have a memory of being in the womb, when my mother was attacked. A boot, pressing in on void. There are no safe places. I have never believed this.

When I am born, I am silent. I take a good look around, through caul and blood. I am early for nothing. I do not ask for forgiveness. I take a vow, anyway.
To love, to love, to love.

To be in the world, but not of its evil and barbarity.
To love, to love, to love.